A Practical Path to Better Mental Health: How Thought + Feeling = Freedom

I see the weight you carry, the pressure you feel, the way you diminish yourself yet you make sure everyone else is looked after. I see how you feel invisible sometimes, how saying no feels like confrontation, how self-care feels selfish.

Your mental health feels wobbly, you’re not sure if you’re coping well. And you are not alone.

Let’s begin with some context, so you know you’re not exaggerating how you feel. 

• In Australia, nearly 1 in 5 people (aged 16–85) experience a mental disorder each year. AIHW+2Australian Bureau of Statistics+2 

• Over a lifetime, 42.9% of people will experience a mental disorder. Australian Bureau of Statistics 

• Mental health and physical health are deeply intertwined — biological pathways in organs, brain, body all influence our mental state. University College London+1 

Mental health isn’t just the absence of mental illness, it’s also the capacity to cope, to grow, to live a fulfilling and happy life.  

What this tells us is that you are not “broken” because you struggle. In fact, your struggle is part of the human experience.  

But I want to help you shift from “struggle as identity” into “struggle as a doorway to growth.”

I want you to build mental wealth. 

We live in a time of [negative] information overload: news, wars, emergencies, financial instability, climate warnings. Even if these things don’t touch you directly, sensitive people feel them energetically. And if you watch the news, you are faced with all those horror stories on a daily basis. 

Many of us think they can’t be at peace when the world is in chaos. They can’t be fully happy among a crazy world.  

But here’s a powerful truth: the peace we cultivate in our own inner world is a contribution to the wider peace. It creates a ripple effect.

We cannot control the war, the politics, the systems — but we can tend our own mental health, so we do not contribute to the negativity. 

Simple? No.  

Powerful? Yes. 

You do have an impact. It’s quieter. It’s slower.

But it matters.

Every bit matters. 

These are the places I see my clients — and sometimes myself — wobble: 

• You overgive, then collapse. You keep giving until you have nothing left. 

• Saying "no" feels like guilt or fear of rejection or abandonment. 

• When you try to care for yourself, you feel selfish. 

• You struggle with intrusive negative self-talk: “I’m a burden, I’m too much, I can’t do anything right.” 

• You always think for others – you imagine what they think. 

• You let others take space in your life; you shrink to fit. You might even feel invisible. 

• At your worst, you feel like maybe you wouldn’t mind not being here — the pain edges toward hopelessness. 

If any of this lands, this is a signal. Keep reading – I've got you. 

You have so much more control than you think! 

One of the most grounding tools I use with clients is the Circle of Control. 

• Control: things you absolutely can decide (your thoughts, your actions, your language, how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself). 

• Influence: things you can affect but not fully control (your relationships, your boundaries, how you respond). 

• Concern: things outside your reach (other people’s emotions and reactions, the war, the news cycle, systems, politics...). 

Pull your energy and your thoughts back toward what you control and where you can influence, and you will see a shift in both your thoughts and your emotions – that’s right: your mental health. 

Click on the image to download the Circle of Control Poster.

In addition to the Circle of Control, here are five practices (small, doable, fierce) that begin to rewire your mental world. You don’t need to do all of them perfectly — just try one here and there. 

Become more aware and curious about your thoughts 

• Catch your thoughts as they're creeping in. (You might feel the emotion first — tension, heaviness, agitation — so trace it backward to the thought/story.) 

• Pause. Use Byron Katie’s framework, or something similar, to challenge the thought. Ask: “Is this thought true? How do I know it’s true? Who would I be without believing it?” 

  Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love and respect 

• Validate your emotions - stop gaslighting yourself!

• Use kinder, more patient and compassionate language. “I’m doing the best I can” rather than “I’m failing.”. “I’m complicated” → “I am human. Humans are complex. I'm working on this.” 

  Use mindfulness to reset your nervous system 

• Even 3 minutes of grounding: place your feet on the earth, count your breaths, name three things you see – be fully present. 

• Go outside. Nature is profoundly healing. Studies consistently show that nature has strong positive effects on mental wellbeing.  

• Protect your news time. Limit doomscrolling. Remember: your inner peace and your mental health is more important than your awareness of every crisis. Start with a small, incremental experiment: one day without watching/reading the news, two days, etc. 

  Set clear boundaries and stick to them 

• Experiment with “no’s” — in conversations, requests, your energy. 

• Use “I” language: “I need rest,” “I can’t do that right now,” “I’ll think about it and get back to you.” 

• Remind yourself that boundaries are safeguarding your mental health. They are not awkward or selfish; they protect your health and your energy and help you become an even better contributor. 

  Express and release strong emotions 

• Don’t numb or ignore strong, negative emotions. Both top-down (cognitive) and bottom-up (somatic) approaches work well here: Journaling, movement, tears, coaching, massage, meditation — you need a release valve. 

• Use emotional literacy and cognitive behavioural therapy: name the feeling (hurt, fear, rage, guilt), distance yourself from it, question it, resolve it.