Real self-care, or how to look after ourselves so well that our energy is never depleted

We sold everything (except for two plastic tubs with photos and important stuff) and did what I knew to be self-care back then: avoidance and numbing!

We embarked on a journey across Australia, seeking fun and freedom before we settled again.

This is us, the day we left Cairns - October 2018! ⏬

Our adventure didn't fulfill me as expected. Instead, I was feeling incomplete, "fake" even, and I felt a deep yearning for meaning and purpose. There as nothing wrong with the trip itself, but I realised that I was using it to escape myself, and obviously, that didn’t work. Because as Jon Kabat-Zinn says so well...

It was during this time that I discovered yoga and I used it daily to learn more about my body and mind, and to find more peace amongst the confusion I was experiencing.

You might find it odd that I was unwell on a lap of Australia with my family, free and discovering one of the most beautiful countries in the world – a doctor I saw in Tasmania thought that, too…

I know now that I was deeply out of touch with myself and my needs and wants, following along without finding meaning in it all, and I was also often either drinking alcohol or recovering, which didn’t help my mood.

To be fair and honest though, I do have some incredible memories of this adventure and I had a lot of fun, too. There was nothing wrong with the way we did it. I do not dismiss the friends we made, the breathtaking places we visited, the sense of freedom from being unemployed, and the strong family bond we created by being together 24/7.

If we went on that lap again now, with my new mindset and self-care tools, I would find meaning and enjoy it 100,000 times more.

This was our FB page, if you are curious:

https://www.facebook.com/AllTraxAustralia

I ended the trip after nine months, and when we returned to Cairns, I made a conscious decision to redefine my approach to self-care. I was committed to cultivating habits that nurtured my long-term wellbeing.

Greg and I decided to redesign our lives and routine taking into accounts what we liked, and what we didn’t like, from our “previous life” in Cairns. We became an even stronger team. We both wanted deep, lasting changes. And we succeeded with self-care.

Meditation and journaling became the foundation of my daily routine, providing clarity and grounding. With the guidance of my first Life Coach, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, also shedding old habits and embracing new ones. For those who are curious, Greg’ self-care journey started with joining a mountain bike riding group.

Self-care, I realised, wasn't just about pampering myself - it was about honouring what I value and setting boundaries with myself and others. It was about saying no to things that didn't align with my authentic self and yes to those that did. I decluttered the hell out of my home and routine. I became sober overnight. I went back to school. We designed family rituals that served us, and we planned loads of quiet family time.

I learned to prioritise my own needs without letting the [inevitable] guilt stop me. I was slowly becoming happier, more present and more at peace with my life.

I thought about my standards; where they came from, and how they impacted my wellbeing.

I like to say in my workshops “It’s ok to have high standards, as long as they are necessary and you feel good about them, not just to satisfy others.”